Stuck in Transition

Since moving to Alabama our mental and emotional states have been on a wild roller coaster with only teeny tiny glimpses of the end. We don't know when the roller coaster will end but we know that the end is somewhere out there. Moving is always stressful and that's a fact.

Our first week here was filled with hotel rooms, house hunting, the flu, pent up dogs, humidity and eating out for every meal. We had a boost in our morale when we got the keys to the house that we'll call home for the next 4-ish years. Then the reality set in that we moved here with what we had in our car. The basics of living and feeding a family of three were not included. Thanks to the aid of lovely new friends we were set up with basic kitchen necessities, air mattresses, bedding and towels. "You love camping!" Devin keeps enthusiastically convincing reminding me. Heh. Sure.

Then the second week hits. Our morale... well, more so mine, is running low. At times it's tanking fast. We've had a heck of a time with a certain refrigerator, still camping in our house because our stuff just barely left Oregon, have to continue to rely on some friends for just about everything, wondering who took our outdoor trashcan and why (seriously), and a baby that's in the beginning stages of teething. All this on top of the daily life stresses.

I'm completely over being stuck in transition. I desperately want our stuff here. I feel like crap typing that sentence because I know that stuff isn't important. (Which I was reminded of earlier this week seconds after running over a squirrel with our car. "Well, our stuff taking forever really isn't important now that I know that squirrel's family is now missing a member," I thought. Being humbled comes in many forms.) But I can't deny how desperately I want to nest our home, hang up clothes in their closets, put rugs down on our floors and wrap Birdie's booty back in her cloth diapers. (I didn't know it was possible to get a headache from the fake baby powder smell that Pampers radiate.) I want to stop waiting and start moving forward. With every thought of frustration I have there's always one that follows that reminds me that things could be worse. It's true... it could be. I know that. I know that we're tried and tested in this world and, lately, we've been the recipients of a lot of pop-quizzes.

One of the great things about the blog world is you get to post only certain things and emotions that you want people to see. There are those blogs out there where the family is always put together, the house is always gorgeous and their life seems pretty fun all around. This isn't one of those blogs. I'm currently without makeup, hair not done, and jeans and a pajama top count as being dressed today. Mila is still in her pj's and I'm loathing the fact that my dogs are in the living room whining loudly to inform me that they need to go out. I know our fridge is leaking water onto the floor but have no desire to go clean it up. There's a bag of clean clothes that need to be put away and a pile of dirty diapers that need to go out. The dust on our window blinds are starting to form their own colonies. Also, I'm starving.

Hey Mr. Roller Coaster Operator- we're ready to get off this ride. Let someone else have a-go. One day we'll smile at this transition phase just like we've done with other tough situations we've been in. Just not today.

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Our Birdie smiles in her sleep... so we got that going for us. 

Shh... Baby Is Sleeping

Just when I was ready to piece together Birdie's room in Cannon Beach we learned that we had to move. So we did- to Seaside. Then we left on vacation days after moving. Having to reorganize a house at 7+ months pregnant was hard, and delayed putting together (or even unpacking shower gifts) Birdie's room. I got as far as putting together the changing table and swing. Then we received orders and had to pack and move again- to California. It's frustrating that 90% of what I planned on doing in Birdie's room I either can no longer do (goodbye vintage baby cradle, goodbye pinterest plans) or have to wait on.

I find it surreal, and odd at times, that I'm back in my parents house 9+ months pregnant with two dogs. Not only back in my parents house but back in my old room: my high school room that was converted to my niece's room that's now been reconverted to Wifey-and-Birdie's room. High school memories are tucked in between children's books, baby dolls, dog beds, a pack n play and swaddling blankets.

I have to get used to an idea in my head before I become comfortable with the real situation. I've been trying to- mentally- reconvert my new reality into ideas in my head to become comfortable and okay with them. Take, for example, the hospital. I was soooo excited to be delivering at the hospital in Seaside. They're child birthing views clicked with our own. My hospital in Clovis? Ehh... not too excited about. I really enjoy and click with my OB and midwife but the actual hospital was a major step down.

Then it hit me: all of the new situations and realities that I've been thrown into are merely a trade off. All of them, for the most part, have been for the better:

- Instead of staying in a really nice hospital room for 24 hours I get to mother Birdie in an extremely nice home AND room. (My parents have gone out of their way to accommodate us, and have rushed some home improvements, too. Hello, new closets, tv and hardwood floors!)

- Instead of navigating motherhood alone I get to be surrounded by more support than I could ever ask for.

- Heat and sun instead of rain and cold... enough said!

- Nana, Papa, Grammy and Grandpa will be able to see and experience Birdie in her infancy. They would not of had this opportunity before.

- My mom gets to experience my pregnancy and Birdie's birth at the cost of D being away. While not ideal at all, my mom didn't get to do this with her other two grand-babies. D has selflessly sacrificed a very special day in order to set up our future. We also know that 4-ish months apart is nothing compared to what other military families have to experience.

So, the crib is still in a box, our things are in storage and we haven't had a chance as a couple to experience nesting. I keep reminding myself that our next move will more than provide all of that. For now I'm pretty content with what I have been able to do and the with the generosity that my parents (and in-law's, too!) have been providing.

Without further ado here's Birdie's first little nest:

 Rocking chair and swing

 Newborn & 0-3 month outfits

 Odds and ends: books, rattles, wet bag, toiletry items, etc.

Lovelies, fancy socks and shoes, and larger sized cloth diapers 

 Diaper bag is packed and ready for the hospital. Video camera is ready, too. 

Baby central: Cloth diapers and wipes, swaddlers, receiving blankets, onesies, sleepers and gowns, socks, extra sheets, changing pads and burp cloths.  

Pack n play with changing table attachment next to my bed. My mom made that pink blanket when she was pregnant with me.  

 Cute sign that used to hang on my door when I was born. Birdie's name and birth year will be added onto the backside underneath mine. 

My favorite thing to look at: Cloth diapers and fasteners on the left and wipes and diaper covers on the right. (With blue hippo that was mine as a baby)