Excused Absence

it's been awhile with no word from this wifey.

apologies. 

settling in a new home and location is hard work. it's a job that i'm still plugging away at, but i can now see light at the end of the tunnel. there have been new friends, play dates, doctor visits, family walks, church callings and teaching, schedule switch-a-roos, colds, teething, lots of carne asada eating, baking, late nights, developmental milestones, phone calls to california, surfing, road trips, crazy thunderstorms, and falling in love with a new album by a favorite artist. as you can see we've been a little busy. 

in the midst of this a stranger showed up unannounced. at first it was quiet and subtle. then it grew noticeable but was kept in a corner, like a pile of papers waiting to be filed. suddenly it required my full attention. i was prepared for post-partum depression to hit but not this late, and not in this way. it has caused such a disturbance that it's hard to function some days. functioning as a mom has been no problem. but functioning as a wife, friend, sister, daughter? yikes. 

on side, but relevant, note: honestly... i took starting solid foods with birdie very, very hard. part of it i blame on post-partum, another part i blame on having to go through infertility, and the other part i blame on social pressures of being a mom. (and a new one at that!) d and i waited and waited for so stinkin' long to become parents that starting the solid-food milestone is just a tangible reminder- and a strong one- that her babyhood is quickly fading. pressure from outside sources to get her to eat three solid food meals a day seems, to me, intrusive and ..... commercial....? in the end- one la leche league meeting reassured my fears. so, while we'll sloooowly continue with solid foods but not make in a huge focus while she's still under a year old. 

for now my postings will slow down a little until i can get a better grip on this post-partum business. i have a few scheduled posts/ photo dumps that will appear next week in my absence. and despite all of this murkiness there have been so many bright, sunny spots. sweetness between our little trio, or with new friends, have made me stop and relish the moment. the following pictures are proof of that. 

1. a walk with mama and dog-dogs

2. all fancy-faced for church

3. weeeeeeee

4. my two best girls

5. lovin' our huge backyard 

6. one tooth... two tooth... and now we're on to our third

7. a very, very, very late night bath

8. a face i could eat up

9. less than a week away from being a 7-month-old

And Then I Realized I Was One of Them

A couple weeks ago I was exchanging pleasantries with a woman that I had seen a few times at our church. Waiting for our instructional class to start we started chatting, both of us holding our sleeping littles in our arms. (Her child being their youngest)

Our conversation, naturally, turned to our kids. Just like most everyone else we meet while out and about she asked me if Birdie was a good eater, sleeper and such. I responded with simple answers. "So, have you figured out which kind you are?" My mind went blank.

"Uh.... I'm... A...girl...?" Was my first thought. Clearly she could see that and wasn't referring to my gender.

"I'm sorry... What kind of what?" I asked.

She replied, "Oh, have you figured out what kind of parent you are yet?"

Well, heh, that's a new one I haven't been asked.

After a little more prompting on my part I answered her question: "... exclusively breastfeeding but I do pump for storage... We co-sleep.... Oh, no, she's usually in my arms through out most of the day... Yes, I typically hold or lay next to her during naps unless we're out... We only really let her cry it out if we're in the car, and only until we're able to safely stop...." Yes on that, no we don't do that, yada, yada, yada...

"Oh!!! You guys do attachment parenting! We do that as well!" My new friend happily proclaimed. At that moment our attention was called by the instructor who was beginning to start his lesson. She mouthed, "We'll chat later," to me and promptly turned around.

Meanwhile, I was increasingly becoming confused. "What. The. What?! How the heck did I just get thrown into the attachment parenting category?! Those people are weird hippy parents who, like, don't own televisions and do... weird... hippy stuff!" I thought. Seven-ish minutes later I was in the mother's room. While Birdie was enjoying a mid-morning snack I was on my phone googling "attachment parenting."

And then it hit me. I was one of them. Aw, crap, how did this happen? Why did I not know this? I was confused... Was I happy to have this label or ... not? I didn't know. I mean, yeah, we do everything that is categorized as attachment parenting but some things we don't do all the way... Or 100% of the time.

Fast forward to earlier this week. Mentioning that we don't let Birdie "cry it out" to a family friend got this person instantly spitting out reasons why we should and how it's wrong of us to do so. I explained, sweetly, our reasons why we don't. Before I changed the conversation this person was getting pretty heated in her argument. I didn't take it personally and found her reaction almost humorous. This is not the first time we've been in this situation with someone.

I've been thinking about these two things the past week or so. I think it's so interesting how strongly parents feel about how other people parent. Is it for validatation purposes? As though everyone not doing it a certain way is wrong because that's not the way you're doing it? Is it an intimidation thing? Like someone you respect, for example, puts their baby on a very precise sleeping schedule and because you don't, or can't, the other person is automatically not parenting correctly?

I know I'm only 5 months into this whole parenting thing and so it could be argued that my knowledge and experience is extremely limited. It's true in some ways. However... Just like every other mother I know what works best for my child and our family. I parent the way that has come natural to me. I know I'm parenting correctly as I love my child, she's clean, fed, has shelter and is safe... Her basic needs are constantly met.

Every child is different and, I feel, doesn't always fall under one parenting category. This is what works for us now. Who knows- maybe in a few years we switch to a different theory. Or maybe we don't. Chances are we'll pick up lots of different tools that we'll throw into our parenting backpack. (Like Dora the Explorer's bag only it doesn't sing and, also, is not annoying) As our Bird grows or situations arise we can pick and pull from that bag the different ways to go about things.

Hi, my name is Wifey and I (we) practice attachment parenting.

Whew! The first step is admittance...

Life, Lately, From the Comforts of a Couch

After waiting forever and a day our stuff finally made it to us in Alabama. It was Christmas all over again as we watched our stuff being unloaded from the truck and opened boxes. We immediately set up our kitchen and living room after living in our master bedroom for a few weeks. The other half of Birdie's things arrives tomorrow. This mama FINALLY gets to set up her crib after all this time. I may not be able to sleep tonight from the excitement.

I was asked to be a leader for the young women in our church. While I'm so honored to accept this task it's also a little daunting. Having to learn everything while teaching lessons is a little stressful but I love it so far. The girls are amazing and it reminds me of when I was that age. (Just a few years ago, right?!) I've also made a few new friends that I can tell are going to be keepers. I love spending time with and learning more about them.

Our laptop bit the dust. Fortunately it's just an easy battery fix. Thank goodness for iPhones that allow us to get done what we need to do.

I'm not sure I will ever get used to Alabama's high sales tax, or the fact that they tax groceries. What the what? A good portion of my grocery budget goes straight to sales tax alone. We're also trying to adjust to not having a Costco. Major bummer.

We've been eating too many cupcakes and it really. Has. To. Stop. We've been taking advantage of the gym at D's base a lot lately. I'm the person that brings candy to the gym in my purse. Whoops. I can't help it... I crave sugar when I'm working out.

Birdie girl has cut her first tooth and her second one should be popping through the surface any day. Now that she's mastered rolling over from both sides she's been quite the show off. She loves to play with mama's spatulas, measuring cups and ice cream scoop. I've been building up a milk storage lately for D to feed her on nights when I'm teaching. I'm glad that she's finally learned to take a bottle so they can share that special feeding time.

D has started a fruit and veggie garden in our backyard. We're looking forward to eating all that he's planted. Speaking of our back yard- since only two sides are fenced we get a lot of doggie.... visitors. Our two, who alert me from their respective posts, want to play with and sniff these doggies. Usually I shoo them away. Today's visitor was a sweet coon hound who was at least 6 months old. (And ginormous!) Instead of shooing him away I played with him for a little before he wandered back home. (....and I might have named him Kevin...)

D's sister is getting married in Hawaii this fall. We're looking forward to a real family vacation. All of our extra pennies are being saved up for the flights 'cause it ain't cheap. Still sporting my pasty Oregon skin I need to work on a plan to gradually become tanner.

My pixie haircut is officially gone. I do miss it but I'm ready to have longer hair. I have enough to wear it half-up. I plan on adding some color to it in a couple months as, sadly, grey hair is creeping in faster than I'm willing to admit.

Sigh... The cupcakes are calling me...

Five... Five of the Best.

mila-bird is so sweet. so silly. so cuddly. the first tooth made it's appearance a few days ago. she growls, mimics us shaking our heads and can produce a fake cough. her laugh is contagious and slobbery, gummy grin is adorable. her hair is getting long while some of her clothes are getting too short. five months old and she keeps on growing. she's downright the best thing ever, and so we'll keep on lovin' her.

It's Lookin' Bare Around Here

As you can tell, our little virtual nest received a little scrub down. I wanted clean, simple and easy*. This is what I came up with 5 hours later after some thought. I'm still getting used to it myself. As the year goes on- or time permits- I might tweak some things here and there.  

It's challenging enough to blog with a baby but trying to redesign it? With codes and templates and lots and lots of mistakes? Psh. Tough stuff right there. I think a little pat on the back and some pb&j's are in order at this moment. 

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*Actually I wasn't planning on changing my entire blog. I was just playing with a few settings and ended up deleting my entire template. That was an awesome** moment. 

** Awesome= not awesome

Stuck in Transition

Since moving to Alabama our mental and emotional states have been on a wild roller coaster with only teeny tiny glimpses of the end. We don't know when the roller coaster will end but we know that the end is somewhere out there. Moving is always stressful and that's a fact.

Our first week here was filled with hotel rooms, house hunting, the flu, pent up dogs, humidity and eating out for every meal. We had a boost in our morale when we got the keys to the house that we'll call home for the next 4-ish years. Then the reality set in that we moved here with what we had in our car. The basics of living and feeding a family of three were not included. Thanks to the aid of lovely new friends we were set up with basic kitchen necessities, air mattresses, bedding and towels. "You love camping!" Devin keeps enthusiastically convincing reminding me. Heh. Sure.

Then the second week hits. Our morale... well, more so mine, is running low. At times it's tanking fast. We've had a heck of a time with a certain refrigerator, still camping in our house because our stuff just barely left Oregon, have to continue to rely on some friends for just about everything, wondering who took our outdoor trashcan and why (seriously), and a baby that's in the beginning stages of teething. All this on top of the daily life stresses.

I'm completely over being stuck in transition. I desperately want our stuff here. I feel like crap typing that sentence because I know that stuff isn't important. (Which I was reminded of earlier this week seconds after running over a squirrel with our car. "Well, our stuff taking forever really isn't important now that I know that squirrel's family is now missing a member," I thought. Being humbled comes in many forms.) But I can't deny how desperately I want to nest our home, hang up clothes in their closets, put rugs down on our floors and wrap Birdie's booty back in her cloth diapers. (I didn't know it was possible to get a headache from the fake baby powder smell that Pampers radiate.) I want to stop waiting and start moving forward. With every thought of frustration I have there's always one that follows that reminds me that things could be worse. It's true... it could be. I know that. I know that we're tried and tested in this world and, lately, we've been the recipients of a lot of pop-quizzes.

One of the great things about the blog world is you get to post only certain things and emotions that you want people to see. There are those blogs out there where the family is always put together, the house is always gorgeous and their life seems pretty fun all around. This isn't one of those blogs. I'm currently without makeup, hair not done, and jeans and a pajama top count as being dressed today. Mila is still in her pj's and I'm loathing the fact that my dogs are in the living room whining loudly to inform me that they need to go out. I know our fridge is leaking water onto the floor but have no desire to go clean it up. There's a bag of clean clothes that need to be put away and a pile of dirty diapers that need to go out. The dust on our window blinds are starting to form their own colonies. Also, I'm starving.

Hey Mr. Roller Coaster Operator- we're ready to get off this ride. Let someone else have a-go. One day we'll smile at this transition phase just like we've done with other tough situations we've been in. Just not today.

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Our Birdie smiles in her sleep... so we got that going for us. 

Life, Lately, In Snippets

> We had a great first Christmas as a family of three, surrounded by tons of family. It was loud, long, and chaotic. Perfect! This mama scored a new Nikon camera that has already been put to work. 

> On New Year's Eve we said goodbye to California and hello to the open road. With our stuff piled on top and various parts of the car we encountered 10+ hour long days of driving, 4 poop blow outs, two patient dogs and lots and lots of hotels rooms. 

> We stopped in Texas to visit our best friends and their expanding family for a day. They introduced us to Texas BBQ and we wore out their 4 year old and chatted like old times. (Like, the good chats that girls have late at night over bowls of cereal.) C & M- we're still obsessed with how comfy your guest bed was! 

> Saw some serious swamps and quietly giggled at all of the funny accents as we hit the southern states. ("Oh look at that BAY-e-bee!") 

> Our house hunting day was long, stressful and ended with me in urgent care with a 101* fever and early flu symptoms. Just when we were ready to lose it a house came our direction that left us crossing our fingers. 

> Over the weekend we splurged on a new Temperpedic bed and look forward to it arriving next week. We attended our new ward and found everyone to be very lovely and welcoming. We made some new friends and enjoyed a great meal at their house. 

> We've found that Alabama residents are very friendly and are serious about their Roll Tide. Like, dead serious. We enjoy their twangy accents and wouldn't be surprised if we picked up a little one during our time here. We can't go anywhere without people wanting to coo over or flat out steal Mila- bird. For the most part- we're letting them. 

> Doggies have been given the short end of the stick lately. Cooped up in the car and then cooped up in hotel rooms. Ugh. We hate it as much as they do. 

> It's already hot. We're still trying to get over how much our electricity bill will be each month. Plus, the sales tax is high. Ouch. 

> D loves his shop, coworkers and base. We're preparing ourselves for another 7-week separation sometime early this year. 

> My flu symptoms have been manageable up until a couple days ago. (Nicely timed on D's first day at work.) I spent all of Monday between the bed and bathroom. D had to take our dogs to work with him and was able to come home early to help me out. Fortunately, Birdie used that day to catch up on sleep. Thankfully I seem to be on the mend now. 

> More posts to slow come as I'm able. (And with more pictures if I can find my cord)