Dear Dumb-Dumb

To Whom It May Concern,

You might be surprised that I'm writing you this letter. Usually I reserve my pleasant letters for cysts that dwell upon ovaries who like to have hoedowns at the most inconvienient times. Not that I'm naming any names. I thought I would branch out a bit given the recent situation.

I understand that the economy currently sucks and that there are a lot of people who are having to go without. I'm guessing that you might be in the same situation, and think that because I live on a really nice side of town that I can afford a loss. Or you might just be a major dumb-dumb who likes to get their kicks by breaking into 8-year-old cars at 6:00am. Do you have something against my car? Was she shouting explicitives to you? Sometimes she does that but I thought that stopped when a new water pump was installed.

I hope you're enjoying my husband's laptop, our blue tooth, my do-it-yourself Henna tatoo kit, my sweatshirt, my ipod connector and our stereo face plate. But...umm.. you sorta forgot the actual stereo, blue tooth charger and left my hood and trunk popped. I'm absolutely honored that you enjoy my taste in music. I figured that's why you borrowed my ipod as well. I'm glad you thought this was a good time to take it because, you know, it's not like I use it very much or anything.

So here I am typing you this oh-so-polite letter, patiently waiting for FedEx to knock on my door with the new ipod I ordered and overnighted to my home. I'd love to be out enjoying what little time I have left in this town, but FedEx requires my signature. Bogey wasn't too interested in growing an imposible thumb, walking on his hind legs, and answering the door for me.

Next time- have a little more class.

Sincerely...Cordially...Etc, Etc...whatever,

Wifey