the last night i rocked her to sleep as a baby

the day i've been dreading has finally arrived: mila-bird is 1 year old today.

last night as i rocked and nursed her to sleep before bedtime i soaked up the last ounces of her baby-ness. i had a small wave of nostalgia for her teeny tiny newborn days. i thought about our 3.5 years of infertility and all the emotions involved. i thought about all of our time spent playing and cheering her on as she accomplished little milestones. i could feel the tears welling up as i continued to rock her, her eyes so heavy that she couldn't possibly hold them open any longer.

and then she lets out a large toot. a smile washes over her face. she opens her eyes for a few seconds and lets out a little, raspy giggle. i can't help but giggle with her.

okay.

maybe this new adventure into toddlerhood will be fun.

but, part of me will always, always long for those first days with her.



happy birthday, mila-bird. you are our greatest adventure.