15 Days

It's clique to say that time has flown by... but, actually, it truly has. In a twisted way it seems like my days spent recovering in the hospital happened eons ago. (Maybe it just seemed like I was there for a ridiculously loooong time.)

Mila-bird has taught me so much within these past 15 days: breastfeeding while shopping in Target/ restaurants, how to use the bathroom with an infant in your arms (a public one, too!), how to get blood drawn while holding said infant, driving with a screamer in the backseat, how to- unsuccessfully- change a (cloth) diaper in a car, how to clothe a child that's too big for most of the stuff you have, how to clip nails without mauling little fingers, and so on...

... just to name a few.

At this point I'm delighted (and feel a little guilty saying) that Birdie is an easy, peasy baby. Breastfeeding has been a breeze, I get to shower everyday, she likes the car (except when hungry), and I'm sleeping about 6-7 combined hours per night. (I still have dark circles under my eyes, though.) We spend the bulk of our days nursing, changing/ caring for cloth diapers, finding something to do outside of the house (cough, cough Target cough), and doing stuff that must be done- doggie exercising, laundry, lots of phone calls with D, and the like.

We've had quite a few visitors within the past two weeks. I wish it was easy to fork over Mila-bird when others perch- ready to take her from my arms... but that mama-bear in me kicks in. Hard. So far, this has been my only challenge. There have been times when I have to descretly excuse myself and cry in the bathroom after visitors leave. Sharing isn't always easy.

iPhoto notes that I've taken 145 pictures of Mila-bird within the past 15 days. You know...heh... just a few. Here's a sample of my favorites:

Last picture of me pregnant, walking into the hospital.  

Our first picture together 

My mom skyping with D during delivery/ clean up 

4:30am, slightly tired, but thrilled.  

Hanging out in the hospital nursery after nursing.  

Heading home! 

 First night home

First pediatrician appointment/ day out.  

Smiley bird 

Birdie- girl loves her some water time.  

Sweet girl 

Snuggle bug

...And, Then, Your Face.

Mild contractions
Broken water
Hours of relentless back labor
An epidural
A high fever
A decision
An operating room
A Skype phone call
Full-body shaking
A single cry... Then a few more.
(and tears from your daddy)

...and, then, your face next to mine.

It was a face I'd been dreaming of for over three years. Your cry: a sound that instantly bonded you to me, and told me you were ours...forever.

Your journey- in every sense of the word- was nothing short of dramatic. Your calm, content nature, dark hair, chunky self, and mama-like features were all icing on top our new little cupcake.  

You were 9.8 pounds and 21.5 inches. And we're in love with all that you encompass.

Mila Scout- you are our favorite work of art. 

Shh... Baby Is Sleeping

Just when I was ready to piece together Birdie's room in Cannon Beach we learned that we had to move. So we did- to Seaside. Then we left on vacation days after moving. Having to reorganize a house at 7+ months pregnant was hard, and delayed putting together (or even unpacking shower gifts) Birdie's room. I got as far as putting together the changing table and swing. Then we received orders and had to pack and move again- to California. It's frustrating that 90% of what I planned on doing in Birdie's room I either can no longer do (goodbye vintage baby cradle, goodbye pinterest plans) or have to wait on.

I find it surreal, and odd at times, that I'm back in my parents house 9+ months pregnant with two dogs. Not only back in my parents house but back in my old room: my high school room that was converted to my niece's room that's now been reconverted to Wifey-and-Birdie's room. High school memories are tucked in between children's books, baby dolls, dog beds, a pack n play and swaddling blankets.

I have to get used to an idea in my head before I become comfortable with the real situation. I've been trying to- mentally- reconvert my new reality into ideas in my head to become comfortable and okay with them. Take, for example, the hospital. I was soooo excited to be delivering at the hospital in Seaside. They're child birthing views clicked with our own. My hospital in Clovis? Ehh... not too excited about. I really enjoy and click with my OB and midwife but the actual hospital was a major step down.

Then it hit me: all of the new situations and realities that I've been thrown into are merely a trade off. All of them, for the most part, have been for the better:

- Instead of staying in a really nice hospital room for 24 hours I get to mother Birdie in an extremely nice home AND room. (My parents have gone out of their way to accommodate us, and have rushed some home improvements, too. Hello, new closets, tv and hardwood floors!)

- Instead of navigating motherhood alone I get to be surrounded by more support than I could ever ask for.

- Heat and sun instead of rain and cold... enough said!

- Nana, Papa, Grammy and Grandpa will be able to see and experience Birdie in her infancy. They would not of had this opportunity before.

- My mom gets to experience my pregnancy and Birdie's birth at the cost of D being away. While not ideal at all, my mom didn't get to do this with her other two grand-babies. D has selflessly sacrificed a very special day in order to set up our future. We also know that 4-ish months apart is nothing compared to what other military families have to experience.

So, the crib is still in a box, our things are in storage and we haven't had a chance as a couple to experience nesting. I keep reminding myself that our next move will more than provide all of that. For now I'm pretty content with what I have been able to do and the with the generosity that my parents (and in-law's, too!) have been providing.

Without further ado here's Birdie's first little nest:

 Rocking chair and swing

 Newborn & 0-3 month outfits

 Odds and ends: books, rattles, wet bag, toiletry items, etc.

Lovelies, fancy socks and shoes, and larger sized cloth diapers 

 Diaper bag is packed and ready for the hospital. Video camera is ready, too. 

Baby central: Cloth diapers and wipes, swaddlers, receiving blankets, onesies, sleepers and gowns, socks, extra sheets, changing pads and burp cloths.  

Pack n play with changing table attachment next to my bed. My mom made that pink blanket when she was pregnant with me.  

 Cute sign that used to hang on my door when I was born. Birdie's name and birth year will be added onto the backside underneath mine. 

My favorite thing to look at: Cloth diapers and fasteners on the left and wipes and diaper covers on the right. (With blue hippo that was mine as a baby) 

40+6

40 weeks + 6 days overdue

Size of Baby: Approximately 20 inches from head to toe, or about the size of a small pumpkin. She weighs in the 7-7.5lb range. (I keep forgetting to ask my OB her guesstimate.) 

Total Weight Gain: I'm up a pound again. That brings my total pregnancy weight gain to 28lbs. 

Continuing Symptoms: Nasal congestion, swollen hands and feet, and just plain hot all the time. Some days are more "comfortable" than others. 

New Symptoms: Welcome back, acid reflux! It comes during the middle of the night and, at times, almost feels like I wake up choking. Tums and a little ice water have been doing the trick. I've also begun to leak colostrum. I have in the past but it's becoming more consistent. 

Labor Symptoms: On Wednesday I was having real (gasp!) contractions! They were lasting 2, 4, 8, and 10 minutes long but the time in between was heading in the wrong direction- increasingly further apart instead of shorter. It's definitely true that you WILL know the difference between a Braxton-Hicks and a real contraction when it happens! At my weekly OB appointment yesterday I had a non-stress test. I was hooked up to a fetal monitor for about 20 minutes to monitor Birdie's heart rate and such. This shows how well the placenta is performing since I'm overdue. I had to chase Birdie-bird with the monitor as I had just eaten a lunch that she was particularly jazzed about. Turns out I was having contractions every 7 minutes, none of which phased little girl. (Whew!) I've also progressed to 2 cm dilated and, coincidently, lost my bloody show. Woo-hoo! My OB seems to think I won't make it past Saturday. Last night I was having lots o' pressure and contractions. I tied up loose ends just in case but nothing exciting happened. This morning I'm having more spotting and a little back pressure. Hopefully things will start to rev up as the day progresses. 

Maternity Clothes: Because of all the excitement last night I made a bee-line to Target to pick up a couple nursing bras to have on hand. They're technically "nighttime" nursing bras. I plan on purchasing a couple nursing camis and maybe one actual nursing bra but after my milk comes in and has settled a little. 

Sleep: Sleep is total hit or miss now. I stopped napping/ resting in the afternoons since I seem to have a little more energy. (Or maybe just trying to stay busy..?) This week I've had a couple nights of really good, hard sleep. The remaining nights have held lots of waking up, lots of short dozes, having trouble maintaining a comfortable position and hearing D's 3am text messages. (6am his time- his good morning/ check-in text.) 

What I'm Eating: My parents and I have been eating out a LOT lately. I'm eating to stay full and haven't really had any aversions to much. I just discovered Greek salads and it's probably one of my favorite things right now. 

Cravings: Chips Ahoy, zucchini, milk, turkey sandwiches, Kashi shredded wheat cereal, and Fiber One bars. 

Special Pregnancy Moments: 

1. Purchasing the LAST items on my baby to-do list. 

2. Spending the other day just enjoying things I wanted to do: haircut, shopping, lunch. 

3. Packing MY overnight bag for the hospital. 

4. D's phone calls starting with, "What's the latest?" 

5. Seeing my bloody show. Ok, ok not the prettiest but still amazing in its own way. 

39 Weeks

39 weeks!!! 

Size of Baby: Birdie-girl is approximately 20 inches from head to toe, and weighs in the 7 lb range. She's approximately the size of a mini watermelon.
Total Weight Gain: Up 1 lb makes my total 27 lbs.
Continuing Symptoms: Gosh darn nasal congestion that seems to only become worse as the air is much dryer here in the valley. (D was right- I am snoring a lot more as my parents have also become witnesses.) My hands and feet are still swollen.
New Symptoms: Small bouts of nausea at times. I've also been having some foot issues. I don't want to say it's pain but it's definitely more than just "uncomfortable." It's worse in my left foot. I'm pretty sure it's caused by the increased pressure in my whole body and the fact that I'm walking around barefoot a LOT more. (I'm technically flat footed.) I finally had some small stretch marks take their place on my growing belly. They're mostly located around what was my belly button.
Labor Symtoms: Still experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions. Some days I'll have more menstrual-like cramps and strong lower back pain. Last night I was having some decent contractions to the point that I started timing them. They were too inconsistent and eventually stopped after I showered and went to bed. As of today I'm still 1 cm dilated and still 50% effaced. My mucous plug is practically all gone. Birdie has definitely dropped lower as my OB was able to feel her little head.
Maternity Clothes: With only a couple weeks left- at the most- I'm still functioning on what I currently have. The heat in the valley is a force to be reckoned with, especially when I'm used to being pale in 55*, misty weather. (I have worked up quite the tan in the last two weeks!)  I'm mostly living in workout shorts and tanks as I get easily overheated in anything heavier. I did buy a new pair of capri leggings but mostly because my other pair is two years old and on their way out. The planner in me is anxious for Birdie to arrive so she can cross "buy nursing stuff" off her long to-do list.
Sleep: Some days I get up, get dressed, and feel like I need to go back to bed. I've been taking 1-2 hour naps every afternoon. About every other night I pass out on the couch very suddenly and drag myself to bed once I wake up around midnight. I finally figured out the best pillow arrangement for my body and it's been helping me sleep more soundly. I have to have a pillow under my belly for support anytime I sleep or sit, just because it now weighs so much! Dog-dogs and I have a new, great morning schedule that helps all of us catch up on a little more sleep.
What I'm Eating: Anything my mom has been making. Literally. I'm so lucky that she loves to cook.
Cravings: In-N-Out, Chips Ahoy cookies, yogurt, cereal, granola bars, broccoli, and meat in general.
Special Pregnancy Moments:
1. Finally getting to nest. (Post on that to follow)
2. Meeting my new OB and hearing that she supports and agrees with my birth plan. (whew!)
3. Watching my mom pack her "grandma bag" for when we head to the hospital.
4. Learning how to install our carseat and seeing it actually set up in the car.
5. Finished prepping and pre-stuffing our newborn cloth diapers.
6. The way my niece can.not.stop.touching.me. She's constantly loving on my tummy and just me in general. Love that girl.
7. Getting multiple daily phone calls from D. It's truly the highlight(s) of my day. I love hearing him remind me, each time, how I can get in touch with him when "it's time."

The One Before D Leaves

Preface: Well, we survived made the 14 hour drive down to California after spending the prior week packing and moving our stuff into storage. Because I started passing parts of my mucous plug we were able to obtain permission to leave a day early- just in case. It's nice to be back near family and friends and be surround by a good support system while D is away for the remainder of the year. My parents have been super-troopers by setting things up so that being a single mama will be a little easier. Our dogs have been enjoying the perks of a backyard and weather that allows more walks.

38 weeks!

Size of Baby: Birdie is approximately 19.75 inches long and weighs around 6.5-7lbs. Things are getting pretty tight in there as I feel nothing but elbows, knees, toes, and such being tossed around all day.
Total Weight Gain: As of last Monday I was still holding a 26lb total weight gain. Today I was weighed and lost 5 pounds. This is common in pregnancy as you get closer to delivery.
Continuing Symptoms: Nasal congestion has become a little worse now that we're in a different climate. I'm still uncomfortable most of the time but you just learn to deal with it. My hands and feet have become more swollen during the days, but I think it's been worse lately because of our climate change.
New Symptoms: Slight increase in mood swings and nausea.
Labor Symptoms: Braxton-Hicks contractions are still happening like crazy. Some are more noticeable while others I can only feel my stomach tighten. Birdie has dropped more and I feel a lot more pressure on my pubic bone than ever before. Some mornings, when I wake up, I feel like I have to physically carry my stomach. As of last Monday I am 1 cm dilated, 50% effaced and Birdie is at a -3 station. I also started losing parts of my mucous plug. I'm hoping there's been more progress since then. Birdie is still head down and facing my spine- exactly where she's supposed to be.
Maternity Clothes: I haven't purchased anything new. Now that I only have a couple weeks to go I'm feeling confident that I can finish this pregnancy with what I currently have. I'm mostly preferring workout-type clothes. Because Birdie has dropped so much the band in my maternity jeans constantly falls.
Sleep: Lately, I've been taking more cat naps during the day, lasting anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour long. Nights are still interrupted by potty breaks and position changes. Some nights involve some form of insomnia. Those nights are the most frustrating but I try to use it as practice for just relaxing.
What I'm Eating: Anything, really. Anything that makes me full. We've been eating a lot of mexican food and steak lately.
Cravings: Popsicles, cereal, and yogurt.
Special Pregnancy Moments: 
1. It doesn't FEEL too special but it was exciting to have my first internal exam last week. D and I were excited to hear that things started to progress.
2. Realizing that I started losing my mucous plug- not so pretty but still pretty exciting.
3. We toured the hospital where I'll be delivering. I feel more at-ease now that I'm clear on their policies. D and I are both happy that- since he'll most likely miss her birth- they will allow us to Skype during the whole stay.
4. Tomorrow I FINALLY get to nest! Can. Not. Wait. My parents are currently installing new hardwood floors in the bedrooms so once they're complete I can FINALLY unpack, FINALLY organize and FINALLY set up Birdie's stuff.

Moving: It's What We Do

Literally.

I feel like it's ALL we do. Especially lately. Granted that last move was one of those thing life throws at you.

And here we are, two months post- last move, in the middle of packing up our house to place in storage for the remainder of the year. (For the record I just unpacked the last box from the last move about a week ago... *she says through gritted teeth*) Military orders are not something you can argue with so away we go into a whirlwind of boxes, closing up loose ends and figuring out logistics. 

With this move we have more control... which I thought I would enjoy more, but alas, it made things SO much harder. D's command, aware of my impending due date, presented us with a few options for D to go back to school: 

1. Report in early August
2. Report in October
3. Report in January

Option number 3 was automatically out for us. I would never want D and Birdie to bond and then rip them apart for months and months when she doesn't understand. Long story short- we decided to go with option number 1. For our family, it's better for us to move asap, get me (and pups) down to family in California, and have D take off and come back while Birdie is still little. D will most likely miss her birth as he reports a week before my official due date. (I don't know why is surprises me that he selflessly sacrificed missing her birth to make sure that she and I were well taken care of... but it does in a way. And makes me fall even more in love with him.)

While this whole situation is not fun for both of us we keep reminding ourselves that both of our families are getting an opportunity to be around Birdie in her very first moments, days, weeks, etc., that they previously would not have had. We're also reminding ourselves that there are many, many other military families that have dealt with this before, and most for longer periods of time.

Our next task is to figure out how to condense our stuff, dog stuff and baby stuff into our subie for the 12 hour drive. Did I mention I'll be pushing 38 weeks, too? True story. We will be saying adieu to Oregon and hello to sunny California by the end of this week!